Emergency Announcement

I have to take another look at Revelations to see if this is a portend of the second coming or the apocalypse, but – and you might want to be sitting down when you read this – I have just cooked.

Because I have not yet posted the account (with photos) of my failed attempt, recently, to cook lentils, you probably can’t completely understand my bravery, getting back up on the culinary horse so soon after such a hard fall, but I am proud to say that I have just cooked and eaten my first meal at home since…well…the last time I prepared something in California, which would have been a really, REALLY long time ago (and about equivalent to the level of complexity of microwaving popcorn).

After a diet, today, that consisted of two Snickers Crunch bars, a canister of Doritos, and a row of full-fat Chips Ahoy cookies and milk (the lowfat ones just taste stale), even my body had reaches its junk food limitations, and was telling me that it needed some veggies. When I was so sick a few days ago and couldn’t eat, I did have one noticeable craving, and that was for corn, so today when I was stocking up on imported junk food, I also bought corn, mixed vegetables, beans, and basmati rice (is there any other kind, really?).

The key to the corn (shown in the photo -- no idea why my hand looks like it's rotting) is that it was already canned and in liquid and therefore did not require cleaning or water boiling (sadly, it was the water boiling step that I think led to the terrible disaster with the lentils). I had to seek SOME preparation advice from a friend in Amsterdam in the middle of a heated debate over whether or not Lara Fabian has an audibly-Belgian accent when she sings in French, and whether or not Barbara Streisand is nasal...I wasn't sure if I should use my saucepan or my pot (which I still regard skeptically after it failed to properly cook the lentils) and was instructed to give it another go with the pot.

I just plugged the electric burner plate in, within a minute it was hot, put the pot on the plate, dumped out the corn, and within literally 2 or 3 seconds it was already making scorching sounds (which to the amateur chef means: “Done!”). Both my sauce pan and my pot are way too big for the little mini serving of corn, and there wasn’t enough liquid in the can to even cover the bottom of the pot, so it was clear that the corn might start frying (and, now really understanding the full lifecycle of a corn kernel, I was a bit worried that the corn, although not exactly in kernel formation, might undergo some kind of popping process and I’d end up with burning-hot and totally soaked mutant sweet corn jiffy pop). I took the pot off the burner, got a spoon, and put it back on the burner stirring the tiny bit of liquid in the pot around with the corn for about another 3 or 4 seconds, removed the pot from the burner, unplugged my little “kitchen,” and was done! I even served the corn on the plate I’d gotten out to eat my pizza on last night (but which saw very little use – it’s straight from box to mouth for this Chunk!).

All the dishes have been rinsed, the corn was actually quite good, and the whole thing (including the eating and cleaning part) took about 5 minutes. Amazing. I’m a total corn convert.

Tomorrow I will make the mixed veggies, and then they day after I’ll try beans with rice (the beans are also already canned, so they will be easy, but the rice will mean a second go at boiling water, so wish me well!).

Random sidenote: How good does yellow sweet corn look on a fake black marble table!?

Oh – this is not related, but while I was eating, I was watching BBC Hardtalk with senior British politician Shirley Williams, of the Liberal Democrats (this is the minority party that is NEITHER Blair’s Labour Party, nor the resurgent conservative Tories). I found her to be *extremely* impressive, and regret that we don’t have politicians in the US who are so articulate AND straightforward. She has my vote!

VC