Egypt to Israel: VC Gets Body Searched -- Twice

To get you all up to speed: I'm visiting Israel and Palestine for a week, then going back to Egypt for a few days, then taking of for a few weeks in India (it's hard being a Chunk ;p). The madness began last night, on my El-Al red-eye from Cairo to Tel Aviv.

Because I'm in a Tel Aviv cyber cafe and am anxious to get to dinner and get this blog published as fast as possible, I'm going to cut things short and not describe every fascinating detail of my El-Al flight experience last night from Cairo to Tel Aviv.

A few observations, tips, thoughts:

For anyone who thought VC would be good in the CIA, you are totally wrong. There were a number of reasons that I was flagged for El-Al's extensive security check – purchasing my ticket at the last minute, not having confirmed hotel information with me, traveling with no money (I knew I couldn't change Egyptian points and the Tel Aviv airport TOTALLY has ATMs!), etc. – but I think far and away my worst statement to the initial examiner was, when asked why I chose El-Al (they ask you similar questions over and over, and "I don't like riding buses," and "I didn't want to take the bus with 40 American class mates" rephrased in a variety of ways didn't satisfy them, so I ended up saying (nothing thinking AT ALL about how bad it would sound): "I'm actually really curious about the El-Al security system...I wanted to experience it first hand."

Oops.

So just for those of you (which is, I think, everyone reading) who aren't familiar with El-Al, it's the safest airline in the world because it needs to be, and because they are VERY rigorous in their screening processes. You can't even get in line to check in until you have BEEN INTERVIEWED (everyone must do this) by security officials (read: hot young Israelis lol) in front of what looked distractingly similar to a music stand. They basically ask you probing questions about the nature of your trip ("well if you are going with friends then why would you go alone, by yourself, with no money or hotel reservations, only to meet them a day and a half before you leave?" – "well if you had to fly early in order to make your India flight then why can't you produce a ticket to India?" – "Isn't it possible that Arab friends who knew your Israel itinerary might try to...") and if you, like me, compound AUTOMATIC red flags by incriminating answers to their questions, well then it's a MUCH longer process (read: 1.5 hours). I was interviewed by several people, didn't even do my own passport control, had everything taken from me, dumped out, variously ex-rayed. I teased my original interviewer that after I told them I wanted to see the security apparatus first hand she was just trying to impress me, but anyway, I was red flaged awii (Egyptian for "a lot" or "super duper").

Interestingly, behind me the line pre-interview were who I *thought* was an American diplomat (black passport, but it ended up just being a leather case) and his boyfriend, along with about 9 Luis Vuitton valises, and we had a kind of rapport the entire time. Well actually this happens to me a lot on trips (I'm sure Wong recalls the guy we met flying from New York, who I thought was gorgeous and she thought looked like "a boxer with his face punched in" who we saw ALL OVER Egypt, from top to bottom, AND was on our return flight, despite not being on our tour or anything) – but anyway, Mr. Black introduced himself once I finally made it through security and I now know that his name is Randy and he's from LA (I also know that he's overly-tan and has a boyfriend with bad taste in luggage, but they are both REALLY nice). Anyway, today when I was in the Yemenite Quarter going down a crowded market street I ran into them again! I realized that I totally blew my chances to spend a fun afternoon with cool people reaching out to me, because in the market he said things that should have been cues to sort of engage them, but I was nervous and didn't catch on. He said things like: "Yeah I'm also flagged because my name is so common...I was detained for 3 hours on my original entry to Egypt" but then I failed to follow up with the "what IS your name?" There was a similar opportunity to introduce myself to his bf and their female friend (who I'm guessing lives here), but I did an awkward and rushed wave goodbye and headed off to Jaffa (see next blog entry).

Ok so I covered my security fiasco and the duo I met (RANDOM: I just realized that the Kundera book I'm reading is about these two people who ALMOST met but didn't...I mean they met like I met Randy but they never were TOGETHER...and then they went into exile and meet in the airport on their way back home more than 20 years later...) – what else was there? Ok well El-Al is a bit ghetto (although super safe), however the crap seats and tv situation were TOTALLY compensated-for by the fantastic cheese sandwich (wow fresh bread and cheese...Israel is known for this, actually), and they give you these ridiculous frog pens that CANNOT write and have such fine points they tear the immigration cards and so my immigration card is filled out in bright orange pen (my colour of choice for the aforementioned Kundera).

The only other thing, which was TOTALLY hilarious, was that the huge El-Al screen in the private El-Al lounge in Cairo, as we were waiting to board, was playing music videos, and to everyone's shock what video were they playing? Ramadan super-star (from last year) Sami Yusuf's "Muallam," which for those of you not in the region or not aware of this guy, is a song that catapulted him to fame because it's ALL about how the Prophet Mohammed taught us all the right path, etc. – I mean it's the most Islamic pop video one could ever create...pretty funny given...you know, the fact that we were sitting there in the Israeli lounge waiting to fly to Tel Aviv.

I'm afraid that I'm not going to have time to blog about what I did today (I'll do that in the AM before I start tomorrow), but I'll just say that my guest house is decent enough and I've had an AMAZING day (fingers crossed for the part of it which remains, which will now include dinner...which I'll blog about tomorrow).

Safe, sound, and surrounded by hot Israeli's (forced military service does a body good!),

VC