Being Gay is Good!

Three funny things I thought I'd share.

1. Being gay is good, at least subconsciously if one evaluates the writing of my mother. Consider the following email I received from Madame Wong yesterday regarding me guilting her for not emailing me:

Chunk, honey, [she didn't say honey, but I think it sounds more tender] I would like you to think about how many days go by without me hearing from you. Me, the lonely old lady vs. you the adorable fascinating cultivated young gay son! I am extremely busy…I worked on Saturday and stay late almost every night! Give me a break. Where did you learn to lay guilt trips on people…Grandma Ruth I bet!

The reference to my now-departed Russian Jew-turned-Christain minister paternal grandmother really cracked me up. It's true that even a Princeton Doctor of Divinity did not shake the babushka out of her, and she was the "queen of lamentations," as well as the queen of shopping and queen of raising hell over bad service (god I really am her!).

Anyway, what you were intended to notice from this, and I bolded it to assist you :), is that she lumped-in with my good traits (adorable, fascinating, etc.) "gay" -- which I found very interesting. She is implying that to be gay is to lead a more interesting and enriched life...what can I say? I'm biased...but I *totally* agree. It also means that you can't marry and are considered both mentally ill *and* a criminal in most parts of the world, but that's for another blog.

2. Life Advice from Elle Magazine

Got this hilarious email from the most beautiful Pakistani-American Fulbrighter I know (ok, that sounds like a narrow category, but even if you changed it to just be "one of the most beautiful people I know" the distinction still stands):

I was reading the Oct. issue ofELLE and came across this and thought of you:

ask E.Jean: How can I get my man back?
Answer: Disappear for one year. When you run into him again, lookthree times hotter than you did before. Even then, the odds are 97percent against it.

We're going to ignore the last part. What does ELLE know aboutrelationships that you and I don't? Nothing.Smooches.

HAHAHA. It's still cracking me up. But I think that since I'm disappearing for 2 years and not just one, and am coming back with a master's and not just a tan, I only need to be 1.5 times hotter than I was before...which, ok, right now I'm not, but I *SO* will be by the time I see him again (for the record: when I went back to the US in January and was looking rather fit he DEFINITELY noticed and I DEFINITELY played it cool hahaha).

3. On the ridiculousness of gay men in Cairo (cont'd -- now and forever).

Now, I want to preface this by saying that I have met a few, and I mean VERY few, more-or-less normal, nice, educated gay guys here. I can think of about 2.5...ok, I'll be generous and say 3...but I wanted to share with everyone (including my soon-to-be-horrified mother) what I have to put up with here. Keep in mind that this is in response to my *TOTALLY* G-rated profile in which I explicitly state that the frequency with which I look for "hookups" is basically ZERO (those as more or less my EXACT words), and I ALSO say that I care NOTHING about looks, *as well as* saying that I do not go for 20yos.

The reply (and this is indicative of what happens basically daily, here): an email with NO message attached, just an email address (that is too dirty to re-type, here) which means: "this is my MSN chat email...add me so that I can waste time asking you if you are the police and see if you have a webcam" (which I don't). Anyway, I just looked at this guy's profile and it is SO typical (SOOOOO typical) that I had to re-print it, here. I don't want you to think that what bothers me is the English, because actually that's not what annoys me about this kind of profile. You should be able to find the red flags for yourself, but just in case you can't (being novice gay profile readers, and all) I'll put them in red for you :)

About
HI
HAW R U
I AM 20 YEASR OLD
I LIVE ALL MY LIFE IN SUDAN BUT I GO OUT SAID 2 SEE MY FAMILY AND ANTHER CUONTRES .
MY MUM SHE IS MOROCCAN
MY DAD HE IS EGYPSHIN AND TURKISH
SO ABUOT ME I GET ALL THIS PASSPORT AND WITH THE SUDANES .
SO I AM A SMPIL GUY I LOVE 2 CHAT AND HAVE A FUN LIKE AND ONE AND I AM MODIL

Looking For
SO ABUOT THE GUY WHO I AM LOOKING AT HIM HE MUST BE BERFECT AND GOOD AND JENTEAL AND MODIL AND HE MUST BE STAIL WITH MORE HONDSOME AND NIEC BODY

Oh, and his nickname? "Casenova horny." HAHAHAHA.. YEAH RIGHT!

So, just so we know what kind of "modil" [sicK] we are talking about, I thought I'd post his photos (which are public online and which were not sent to me privately) -- let's just say that someone might make a better veiled chunk than I do! Those of you who ask me why I don't date or have a boyfriend, here, should (I hope) be finally silenced by this post:



















And for the record, the body pic was subtitled: "Me hot body...WOW" :*(

VC